Twelve Days of Ramadan

Tune: Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Ramadan King Khalid gave to me,

A book by Salman Rushdie (THROW TO GROUND AND STAMP ON IT)

Yemenese (BIG SPIT)
Three Ayatollahs (SING "AYATOLLAH, AYATOLLAH," TO TUNE OF HALLELUJAH CHORUS: WHILE BOWING IN PRAYER)

Four Iraqi mine sweepers (PUT HANDS
OVER EARS AND STAMP FEET)

Five Iranian terrorists (JUMP FORWARD AND SPRAY CROWD WITH MACHINE GUN FIRE)

Six cruise missiles (SING "WE'RE COMING TO BLOW YOU AWAY, HA-HA, HEE-HEE, HO-HO")

Seven U.S. soldiers (SHOUT "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, I LOVE THE MARINE CORPS," WHILE MARCHING IN PLACE)

Eight blindfolded hostages (SING "SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME" WHILE STUMBLING ABOUT WITH ARMS OUTSTRETCHED)

Nine raving mullahs (SHOUT "ISRAEL MUST GO, ISRAEL MUST GO" WHILE SHAKING FISTS IN AIR)

Ten Scud missiles (FINGERS IN EARS AND SAY, "NANNY-NANNY BOO-BOO, YOU MISSED ME!" )

Eleven open sewers (SING "WHAT A PONG, WHAT A PONG, ETC" TO TUNE OF WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE)

Twelve circumcisions (SING "OOH THAT HURTS, OOH THAT HURTS" TO TUNE OF THE MUSIC MAN WHILE RUNNING AROUND HOLDING GROINS)

Keywords: holiday, Ramadan, religion