Triangle (The)

Tune: A Recitation For Three Hashers

I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv,
TOGETHER: Three Hashers of quite different intentions,
I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv,
TOGETHER: Seeking sex in three different directions.
HETERO: I love with a will girls from Sydney to Dover,
HOMO: I loved with a Will 'til Will said it was over,
PERV: I loved with Will, Wilhelmina, Fred, and Rover,
I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv.

I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv,
TOGETHER: As we search for this, that, or the other,
I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv,
TOGETHER: It's so strange, we're from the same mother.
HETERO: I once fancied a Harriette brim full of beer,
HOMO: I once fancied our G.M., he had a nice rear,
PERV: I remember the fellow, but I used his ear,
I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv.

I'm normal, Informal, Who knows?
TOGETHER: All for one, one for all, up your nose,
You can number us all amongst those,
Who give thanks for the age of permission.
HETERO: I once had a Harriette who was lovely to lick,
HOMO: I once tried a Harriette, but she made me feel sick,
PERV: I once knew a Harriette who liked horses' dicks,
I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv.

He's staid, They're depraved, He's the end,
TOGETHER: Getting kicks in our different manners,
We're ourselves so why should we pretend?
We live and let live so why ban us?
HETERO: I once had an affair with a pretty Kathleen,
HOMO: I'm not into royalty, but my lover's a queen,
PERV: I had mine stuck in a vending machine,
I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv.

I like girls, I like guys, I like sex,
TOGETHER: Our threesome is gruesome though sensual,
Not knowing quite who to do next,
To fulfill all our latent potential.
HETERO: Is life a bright flower simply there for the plucking?
HOMO: Or a ripe juicy banana awaiting a sucking?
PERV: I don't care what it is, I'm just here for the fucking,
I'm hetro, I'm homo, I'm a perv.

Keywords: hashsong