Toasts

Tune: Recited

Here's to the gash that never heals,
The more you touch it the better it feels,
Rub it and tub it and scrub it like hell,
You'll never get rid of that fishy old smell.

Here's to the girl that lives on the hill,
If she won't do it her sister will.
Here's to her sister!

Here's to the breezes
That blow through the treeses
And lift the girls dresses
Way over their kneeses
And show us the creases
That twitches and squeezes
And teases and pleases,
And carries diseases,
By Jesus!

Here's to the girl that I love best,
I lover her best when she's undressed,
I fuck her sitting, standing, and lying,
And if she had wings, I'd fuck her flying.
And when she's dead and long forgotten,
I'll dig her up and fuck her rotten.

If I had a dog who could piss this stuff
(Holding up Beer)
And if I knew he could piss enough
I'd tie his head to the foot of the bed
And suck his dick till we both dropped dead.

Here's to the lady dressed in black,
Once she walks by she never looks back,
And when she kisses, oh how sweet,
She makes things stand that never had feet

Here's to me in my sober mood,
When I ramble, sit, and think.
Here's to me in my drunken mood,
When I gamble, sin, and drink.
And when my days are over,
And from this world I pass,
I hope they bury me upside down,
So the world can kiss my ass!

Times are hard,
And wages are small,
So drink more beer,
And fuck them all.

Keywords: toasts