Tinker (The)

Tune: ???

The lady of the manor,
Was dressing for the ball,
When she spied a highland tinker,
Wanking up against the wall.

CHORUS:
With his bloody great kidney wiper
And his balls the size of three
And a yard and a half of foreskin
Hanging down below his knee

The lady wrote a letter,
And in it she did say,
"I'd rather be fucked by you, sir,
Than his Lordship any day."

The tinker got the letter,
And when it he did read,
His balls began to fester,
And his prick began to bleed.

He mounted on his donkey,
And he rode up to the strand,
His balls across his shoulder,
And his penis in his hand.

He fucked the cook in the kitchen,
He fucked the maid in the hall,
And then he fucked the butler,
The dirtiest trick of all.

And then he fucked the mistress,
In ten minutes she was dead,
With half a yard of foreskin,
Hanging round about her head.

The tinker now is dead, sir,
And they say he's gone to Hell,
And there he fucks the Devil,
And I hope he fucks him well.

Keywords: sex