There Was an Old Farmer

Tune: ???

There was an old farmer who sat on a rock,
Shaking and waving his big hairy.......
Fist at the ladies next door at the Ritz,
Who taught the young children to play with their......
Kite strings and marbles and all thing galore,
Along came a lady who looked like a.....
Decent young lady, but walked like a duck,
She thought she'd invented a new way to......
Bring up the children, to sew and to knit,
The boys in the stable were shoveling.....
Litter and paper from yesterday's hunt,
And old farmer Potter was having some.....
Cake in the stables and singing this song,
If you think that's dirty,
You're FUCKING WELL WRONG!

CHORUS:
Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses,
Covered all over from head to toe,
Covered all over in shit, shit, shit, shit!

(A cleaner verse)
There once was a farmer who took a young miss,
To the back of the barn where he gave her a .....
Lecture on horses and chickens and eggs,
And told her that she had such beautiful....
Manners that suited a girl of such charms,
A girl that he wanted to take in his .....
Washing and ironing, and then if she did,
The could get married and raise lots of .....
Sweet violets, ....etc.

(A cleaner verse, II)
Suzanne was a lady with plenty of class,
Who knocked the boys dead when she wiggled her.....
Eyes at the fellows as girls sometimes do,
To make it quite plain that she want to....
Go for a walk or a stroll through the grass,
And hurry back home for a nice piece of...
Cake and ice cream and pieces of roast duck,
And after this meal she was ready to.....
Go for a walk or a stroll on the dock,
With any young man with a sizable......
Roll of green bills and pretty good front,
And if he spoke softly she'd show him her.....
Little pet dog who was subject to fits,
And maybe let him grab ahold of her....
Little white hand with a movement so quick,
And then she'd lean over and tickle his...
Chin while she showed what she once learned in France,
And ask the poor fellow to take off his....
Coat while she sang of the Mandalay Shores,
And whatever she was Suzanne wasn't a whore.

Keywords: innuendo, euphemism, clean