Sweet Violets

Tune: Sweet Violets

CHORUS:
Sweet violets, sweeter that the roses,
Covered all over from head to toe,
Covered all over in SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

My father was a coal miner,
He worked in a deep, dark pit,
Sometimes he'd shovel up coal dust,
And sometimes he'd shovel up shit.

My brother was a pilot,
And he never wanted to quit,
Sometimes he'd land on the runway,
And sometimes he'd land on the shit.

My wife, she died on the toilet,
She died of a horrible fit.
And to satisfy her last wishes,
She was buried in six feet of shit.

My father went to the woodshed,
Some wood he wanted to split,
But when he grabbed hold of the handle,
He found it was covered with shit.

Phyllis Quat kept a sack in the garden,
I was curious I must admit,
One day I stuck in my finger,
And pulled it out covered with shit.

I sat in a gold lavatory,
In the home of the Baron of Split,
The seat was encrusted with rubies,
But as usual the bowl contained shit.

My brother he worked in a sewer,
Some lamps they had to be lit,
One evening there was an explosion,
And my brother was covered with shit.

Phyllis Quat took a bag to her boyfriend's,
But the bag was old and it split,
Now the boyfriend and Phyllis have parted,
For the bag was packed full of shit.

Now baby was eating an apple,
They thought he had swallowed a pit,
But when they examined his appy,
They found it was covered with shit.

Well, now my song it is ended,
And I have finished my bit,
And if any of you feel offended,
Stick your head in a bucket of shit.

Keywords: scat, feces