Ring the Bell Verger

Tune: ????

CHORUS:
Ring the bell verger, ring the bell ring
Perhaps the congregation will condescend to sing,
Perhaps the village organist sitting on his stool,
Will play upon his organ and not upon his tool.

Ocean liner five months late,
Stoker stoking stoker's mate,
Captain's voice comes down the wire,
"Stop stoking mate and start stoking fire!"

Lordship's chauffeur in the garage lies,
Lordship's wife between his thighs,
Lordship's voice come from afar,
"Stop fucking wife and start fuckin' car!"

Part-time barman in the four-ale lurks,
Tossing off with erratic jerks,
The landlord's voice begins to moan,
"Stop pulling plonker and start pulling foam!"

Verger in the belfry stood,
Grasped in his hand, his mighty pud,
From afar the vicar yells,
"Stop pulling pud and start pulling bells!"

Old time convict in the compound stands,
His prick lies idle in his hands,
The warden's voice begins to moan,
"Stop picking prick and start picking stone!"

Keywords: sex