Portions of a Woman

Tune: ???

Now the portions of a woman,
That appeal to a man's depravity,
Are fashioned with the most exquisite care.
And that what may seem to you,
To be a simple little cavity,
Is really an elaborate affair.

Now, we doctors who have taken time,
To study these phenomena,
In numbers of experimental dames,
Have made a little list,
Of all these feminine abdomena,
And given them delightful Latin names.

There's the vulva, the vagina,
And the jolly perineum.
And the hymen which is sometimes found in brides.
And lots of other gadgets,
You would love if you could see 'em,
There's the clitoris, and Christ knows what besides.

Now it makes us rather tired,
when you idle people chatter,
About things to which we've just referred.
And to hear you give a name
To such a complicated matter,
With such a short and unattractive word: CUNT!

Keywords: genitals, vagina, twat