Old King Cole

Tune: Old King Cole

Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for his wife in the middle of the night,
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Now every fiddler had a very fine fiddle,
And a very fine fiddle had he.
Fiddle-diddle-dee, diddle-dee, said the fiddlers,
Merry, merry men are wee.
There's none so fair that can compare,
With the boys of the HHH.

Leader: How's your father?
Response: ALL RIGHT!

Leader: How's your mother?
Response: SHE'S TIGHT!

Leader: How's your sister?
Response: SHE MIGHT!

Leader: When was the last time?
Response: LAST NIGHT!

Leader: When is the next time?
Response: TONIGHT!

Leader: How's your asshole?
Response: FULL OF SHITE!

Old King Cole ........etc.
And he called for his tailors three,
Now every tailor had a very fine needle,
And a very fine needle had he.

Stick it in and out, in and out said the tailors,
Fiddle-diddle-dee, diddle-dee said the fiddlers
Merry, merry men........etc.

Jugglers three -
Two very fine balls -
Throw your balls in the air said the jugglers

Butchers three -
A very fine chopper -
Put it on the block, chop it off said the butchers.

Barmaids three -
A very fine candle-
Pull it out, pull it out, pull it out said the barmaids.
Cyclists three -
Two very fine pedals -
Round and round, round and round said the cyclists.

Flautist three -
A very fine flute -
Root diddly-oot, root diddly-oot said the flautist.

Painters three -
A very fine brush -
Wop it up and down, up and down said the painters.

Horsemen three -
A very find saddle-
Ride it up and down, up and down said the horsemen.

Carpenters three -
A very fine hammer-
Bang away, bang away, bang away said the carpenters.

Surgeons three -
A very fine scalpel-
Cut it round the knob, make it throb said the surgeons.

Fishermen three -
A very fine rod-
Mine is two feet long said the fishermen,

Huntsmen three -
A very fine horn-
Wake up in the morn with a horn said the huntsmen.

Coalmen three -
A very fine sack-
Want it in the front or the back said the coalmen.

Drummers three -
A very fine drum-
Thump it right up to the stump said the drummers.

Axemen three -
A very fine axe-
Chop it right back to the stump said the axemen.

Parsons three -
A very fine book-
Goodness, gracious me said the parsons.

Ladies three -
A very fine cat-
Come and pet my pussy said the ladies.

Keywords: royalty, innuendo