My Girl's a Vegetable

Tune: My Best Girl's a Corker (She's a New Yotker)

 

My girl's a vegetable,
She lives in a hospital...

CHORUS:
I'd do most anything
To keep her alive.

She has no arms or legs,
She looks like a pony keg...

She's got a new TV
They call it an EKG...

Her EKG does not rise,
But she still spreads her thighs...

My girl has long blond hair,
It's in patches here and there...

She can't get out of bed
Still she can give me head...

She's got no arms or legs,
She's got two wooden pegs...

I'm always guaranteed a blow,
Because she can't say no...

She has no feet or hands,
Her head's connected with rubber bands...

She might not live the night,
That means she won't fight...

My girl lives in an iron lung,
But she can still give real good tongue...

My girl has leprosy,
Parts are always landing on top of me...

She had an episiotomy,
That's a bigger hole for me...

She can not hear, she can not see,
But she's got an oral cavity...

Keywords: disease, illness, sex