Lobster Song

Tune: ???

"Oh, mister fisherman, home from the sea,
Have you got a lobster you will sell to me?"

CHORUS:
Singing ai-tiddly-ai, shit or bust,
Never let your ballocks dangle in the dust.

"Yes sir, yes sir, I have two,
And the biggest of the bastards I will sell to you."

So I took the lobster home, but I couldn't find a dish,
So I put the fucking lobster where the missus has a piss.

In the middle of the night, as you well know,
The missus got up to let the water flow.

Well, first there came a groan, and then there came a grunt,
And the bloody lobster grabbed her by the cunt.

The missus grabbed the brush, and I grabbed the broom,
And we chased the fucking lobster round and round the room.

We hit it on the head, we hit it on the side,
We hit that fucking lobster till the bastard died.

Oh, the story has a moral, and this is it,
Always have a look before you take a piss.

That's the end of my story, there isn't any more,
There's an apple up my asshole, and you can have the core.

Down in Nagasaki the monkey fucked the cat,
And all the cat could do was fuck the monkey back.

 

Keywords: lobster