Life Presents a Dismal Picture

Tune: Deutschland Uber Alles

 

Life presents a dismal picture,
Dark and dreary as the tomb,
Father's got urethral stricture,
Mother's got a prolapsed womb.

Uncle James has been deported,
For a homosexual crime,
Nell, our maid, has just aborted,
For the forty-second time.

Ours is not a happy household--,
No-one laughs or even smiles,
Mine's a dismal occupation,
Crushing ice for grampa's piles.

Jane the under-housemaid vomits,
Every morning just at eight,
To the horror of the butler,
Who's the author of her fate.

Auntie Kate has diarrhea,
Shits ten times more than she ought--,
Stand all day beside the rear,
Lest she should be taken short.

Grandpa, lurking in the woodshed,
Found a fetus in a case--,
Father Pryke says it is murder--,
Of sister Annie there's no trace.

Uncle Charlie has a chancre,
Caught from Uncle Henry's wife,
May's in bed with menstruation,
Auntie's at the change of life.

Mabel's husband's now in prison,
For a childish prank of mine--,
Pinching things that wasn't his'n,
Women's scanties off a line.

Dad's a man who likes the bestial,
Incest is my mother's fun,
So the whole four sleep together,
Father, mother, horse, and son.

Anal-oral trends disgust me,
Though pronounced in Tiny Tim,
For I much prefer fellatio--,
He sucks me and I suck him.

Little Jim keeps masturbating,
Though we tell him it's a sin,
Uncle Dave's the Kingsgrove slasher,
Uncle Henry dobbed him in.

Still we must not be down-hearted,
We must not be put about,
Cousin Susie has just farted,
Turned her arsehole inside out!

 

Keywords: dispair, perversion