I Wonder Where I Am

Tune: Winter Wonderland

At the office Christmas party,
I started out with a Bicardi.
I never get saused,
But, right now, I'm lost!
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!

I had a beer at my brother's,
Had egg nog at my mother's,
Then two bottles of wine.
Which automobile's mine?
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!

Someone caught me dancing with a snowman.
A policeman came and put me in his car.
He said, "Are you drunk?" and I say, "No, man,
But could you drop me off at the next bar?"

I guess my wife must be missing.
Who's this dog that I'm kissing?
They say his name's Spot,
And he likes me...a lot!
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!

I was looking for a woman I could dance with
So I stood beneath the mistletoes.
Someone said, "You'd have a better chance if
You take the lampshade off and put back on your clothes!
A lampshade!! Isn't that the best?!?

TIme to be going.
I'm naked. Is it still snowing?
It's time I should leave,
(But) I'll be back New Year's Eve!!
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!
It's Christmas and I wonder where I am!

Keywords: holiday, Christmas, drunk