I Don't Want to Join a Convent

Tune: I Don't Want to Join the Army

I don't want to join a convent,
Purity is really quite a bore,
I'd rather hang around my Phuket playing ground,
Living off the earnings of an off- shore expat,
I don't want to waste my life a virgin,
I don't want to count my rosary,
I'd rather stay in Phuket, lovely, lovely Phuket,
And fornicate my fuckin' life away, gor blimey.

Monday I got myself deflowered,
Tuesday I moved into his house,
On Wednesday I declared, you Hashers aren't so bad,
Thursday a climax! Oh, gor blimey,
Friday he told me he was leaving,
Saturday he flew to Singapore,
And Sunday starts the party,
To celebrate his parting,
And now I've got eight weeks to fuck around, gor blimey.

I don't want to raise a family,
I'm not cut out for nine to five,
I'd rather hang around my Phuket playing ground,
Living off the earnings of an off-shore expat,
I don't care if I don't go to heaven,
I don't want to go there all alone,
I'd rather stay in Phuket, lovely, lovely Phuket,
And fornicate my fuckin' life away, gor blimey.

 

Keywords: religion, sex