Every Sperm is Sacred

From: Monty Python

DAD:
There are Jews in the world,
There are Buddhists,
There are Hindus and Mormons and then,
There are those that follow Mohammed,
But I've never been one of them . . .
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics,
Is they'll take you as soon as you're warm . . .

You don't have to be a six-footer,
You don't have to have a great brain,
You don't have to have any clothes
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came . . .
Because . . .

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILD:
Let the heathen spill theirs,
On the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for,
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.

MOM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN NEIGHBORS:
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,

WOMEN NEIGHBORS:
If a sperm is wasted,

CHILDREN:
God gets quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred,

BRIDE & GROOM:
Every sperm is good,

NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed,

CARDINALS:
In your neighborhood.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful,
Every sperm is fine,

FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's,

FIRST MOURNER:
Mine!

LADY MOURNER:
And mine!

CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs,
O'er mountain, hill, and plain,

STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYBODY:
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is need,
In your neighborhood.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

 

Keywords: sperm, sex