Don't That Bastard Get any Bigger?

Tune: Put Another Log On the Fire

Don't that bastard get any bigger?
I bet some bitch bit off the last three feet,
It's wrinkled like a six week old banana,
And got a limp a cripple couldn't beat.
Come on, baby,
Can't you make it go any faster?
And don't forget to let me get there first.
Don't that bastard get any bigger?
You're lucky someone understands,
like me.

Don't that paycheck get any fatter?
And don't forget my birthday's in a week,
What about the tennis courts you promised,
And how about Hawaii for a break?
Come on, baby,
Climb another rung in that ladder,
You haven't had a pay raise since
New Year's.
Don't that paycheck get any fatter?
You're lucky someone understands, like me.

Don't let that heart rate go any faster,
Jesus, why do you have to work so hard?
You never stay at home on the weekends,
No wonder your banana's never ripe.
Come on, baby,
You hang around the office 'til all hours,
I bet you've got a brand new secretary,
Don't let that heart rate go any faster,
You're lucky someone understands, like me.

 

Keywords: inneuendo, sex, genitals