Cats on the Rooftops

Tune: Do Ye Ken John Peel

 

CHORUS:
Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles,
Cats with syphilis, cats with piles,
Cats with their assholes wreathed in smiles,
As they revel in the joys of fornication.

The donkey is a lonely bloke.
It's very, very seldom that he ever gets a poke.
But when he does -- he lets it soak,
And he revels in the joys of fornication.

The Australian lady who, when she wants to find a mate.
Wanders 'round the desert with a feather up her date.
You should see that feather - when she meets her destined fate,
As she revels in the joys of fornication.

The poor domestic doggie, on the chain all day.
Never gets a chance to let himself go play.
So he licks at his dick -- in a frantic way,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The labors of the poofter find but little favor here.
But the morally leprous bastard has a peaceful sleep I fear.
As he dreams he rips a red un some dirty urchin's rear,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The dainty little skylark sings a very pretty song,
He has a ponderous penis fully forty cubits long,
You should hear his high crescendo -- when his mate is on the prong,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The hippopotamus, so it seems,
Very, very seldom has wet dreams,
But when he does -- it come in streams,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The whale is a mammal, as everybody knows,
He takes two days to have a shag, bit when he's in the throws,
He doesn't stop to take it out -- he piddles through his nose,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The lady by the seaside was feeling very blue,
She saw the children at it, and she thought she'd like it too,
So she bought three bananas -- and she ate the other two,
As she reveled in the joys of fornication.

In Egypt's sunny clime, the crocodile,
Gets a flip only once in a while,
But when he does -- it floods the Nile,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The poor old rhinoceros, so it appears,
Never gets a grind in a thousand years,
But when he does -- he makes up for arrears,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The poor old desert camel has no water for a week,
And as he doesn't drink, the poor bugger cannot leak,
So he has to hold his water -- so to speak,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

Little Mary Johnson will be seventeen next July,
She's never had a naughty, but she thought she'd like to try,
So she took her daddy's walking stick and did it on the sly,
And she reveled in the joys of fornication.

When you wake up in the morning with a devil of a stand,
From the pressure of the liquid in you seminary gland,
If you haven't got a woman -- use your own fucking hand.
As you revel in the joys of fornication.

When you wake up in the morning with a surge of sexual joy,
And you wife has got the rags on, and your daughter's feeling coy,
Do you ram it up the asshole of your own darling boy?
As you revel in the joys of fornication.

The Regimental Sergeant Major leads a miserable life,
He can't afford a mistress, and he doesn't have a wife,
So he puts it up the bottom of the Regimental Fife,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The ostrich in the desert is a solitary chick,
Without the opportunity to dip its wick,
But when he does -- it slips in thick,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The ape is small and rather slow,
Erect he stands just a foot or so,
So when he comes -- it's time to go,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The flea disports among the trees,
And there consorts with whom he please,
To fill the land with bastard fleas,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The elephant's prick is big and round,
A small one scales a thousand pounds,
Two together -- rock the ground,
As they revel in the joys of fornication.

The camel likes to have his fun,
His night is made when he is done,
He always gets two humps for one,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The orangutan is a colorful sight,
There's a glow on its arse like a pilot light,
As he jumps and leaps -- in the night,
And revels in the joys of fornication.

The oyster is a paragon of purity,
And you can't tell a he from a she,
But he can tell -- and so can she,
As they revel in the joys of fornication.

The wild boar in the mud all day,
Thinks of the sows that are far, far away,
And the corkscrew motion of half a day,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

Now a funny old fish is the old sperm whale,
With a funny little diddle tucked under his tail,
And he rides his missus in the teeth of a gale,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

Now I met a girl and she was a rear,
And she gave me a dose of gonorrhea,
Fools rush in where angels fear,
As I reveled in the joys of fornication.

A thousand verses all in rhyme,
To stand and sing them seems a crime,
When we could better spend our time,
Reveling in the joys of fornication.

The owls in the trees and cats on the tiles,
One fucks in solitude, the other fucks in piles,
You can hear their delighted howls and shrieks for miles,
As they revels in the joys of fornication.

Poor old Mr. Bengelstein, whose morals we doubt,
He wanders round with his noodle hanging out,
And when he sees a wench it up and hits him in the snout,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

Long-legged curates grind like goats,
Pale faced spinsters shag like shoats,
And the whole damn world stands by and gloats,
As they revels in the joys of fornication.

 

Keywords: sex, animal