Balham Vicar

Tune: ???

There once was a Balham vicar,
Who said to his curate,
I'll bet I've fucked more women than you,
And the curate said, you're on.
And the curate said, you're on.

We'll stand outside the church this day,
And this will be our sign:
You ding-a-ding for the women you've fucked,
And I'll dong-a-dong for mine, for mine.
And I'll dong-a-dong for mine, for mine.

Well there were more ding-a-dings and dong-a-dongs,
Till a pretty young bird came by,
And curate went ding-ding.

Oh, said the vicar, don't ding-a-ding there,
That's my wife I do declare,
Hell said the curate, I don't care.
Ding-a-ding-a-ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
Ding-a-ding-a-ding, ding, dong.

 

Keywords: religion, sex, bell, wife