Incontinence Is The Shits

Tune: Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport


Chorus: Incontinence is the shits, mates,
Incontinence is the shits-DAMN, TOO LATE!
Incontinence is the shits, mates,
Incontinence is the shits.

Soil your pants at the dance, boys,
Soil your pants at the dance-INCONTINENCE!
That's how they do it in France, boys,
Soil your pants at the dance, 'cause . . .

Take a whiz in your sleep, girls
Take a whiz in your sleep-INCONTINENCE!
New sheets are real cheap, girls,
Take a whiz in your sleep, 'cause . . .

Other verses:

  1. Piss down your thigh with a sigh, guys (What a big mess-oh my, guys)
  2. Move your bowels on her towels, boys (Never mind all her howls, boys)
  3. Drop a load on the road, boys (Squat in the road like a toad, boys)
  4. Spend a penny in your teddie, girls (What's another soaked nightie, girls?)
  5. Go wee wee in the laundry, girls (What a great place for a pee, girls)
  6. Wet your panties at Auntie's, girls (Another pair of damp scanties, girls)
  7. Piddle right down your middle, boys (In a constant dribble, boys)
  8. Crap right in your wrap, girls (A cozy place for a crap, girls)
  9. Relieve yourself in a crowd, mates (Who'll know if you're not loud, mates?)
  10. Make poo poo in your shoe, boys (Fill that brogan with doo, boys)
  11. Smell like piss at the Ritz, girls (Give the concierge the fits, girls)
  12. Smellin' like stool ain't too cool, boys (Clear the classroom at your school, boys)
  13. Wear a diaper on your bottom, boys (You won't show if you've got 'em, boys)
  14. Stuff TP down your crotch, girls (That way you won't show a blotch, girls)
  15. Put a catheter up your peter, boys (Don't that peg your Fun Meter, boys?)
  16. Wear rubber undies on Sundays, girls (What the hell, better wear them on all days!)
  17. Be all a-drip on a ship, mates (Mind the puddle-don't slip, mates)
  18. Make a piddle while you diddle, boys (Let it dribble on her middle, boys)
  19. Public diarrhea in the cafeteria, girls (Isn't that your worst fear-ea, girls?)
  20. Make a stink at the skating rink, girls (Leave a stain on the ice, girls)


Keywords: scat, diarrhea, Incontinence