Fri, 15 May 1998

To: Any Dick'll Do - Iguana Junta
CC: Other Official Junta
CC: Zippy - Unofficial Junta

RE: Inquiry Regarding SmegmaBalls Search for Iguana RA

Hey Pumpkin Dick'll Do ...

I haven't really decided to "step down" as you mentioned, but rather delegate more to the wealth of assholes we have in the Iguana. This is part of a systematic process to "spread the Iguana" outward as we plunge onward with this very interesting type of hash. (Might be worthy of a dissertation for someone's Psychology degree.)

The first step was at the Iguana Dillo with the formation of the Iguana Junta ... a group similar to a mismanagement that could share in the trials and tribulations (and rewards as they cum around) of an Iguana elite.

Second step (taking place about now) is to find a Religous Advisor worthy of the Iguana, that can carry us on-on ward for the next 3 to 5 years ... who is big mouthed, an asshole, knows some songs, etc. I have 5 nominations thus far...

After the RA is selected (I will remain GM), I will institute (with the Junta's help, of course) a Frequent Iguana program where we will award butt chugs to individuals at every 5 Iguanas attended. This will, of course, mean that someone is going to have to keep track of who attends which Iguanas ... This lends us to a new Office of the Grand Bastard being formed which will track butt chugs, beer consumption, and so forth.

I would hope to remain First Grand Iguana Bastard for Life (we can have a Second and Third as our lifetime permits) and we can of course, expand into offering Visa and Mastercard indemnity cards. I do like making T-shirts, however, butt I'd like to expand into lingerie ...

Anyway, things are looking UP for next Iguana in San Francisco around Halloween (October 31 is a Saturday) and that would be very, very wild in SF. Hopefully that is a good date.

February Iguana in Honolulu is looking good as well; CIA of Houston has contacted the Aloha Hash and they're ready for us. Next April / May Iguana is a bit far off yet, but the folks in Phoenix want us to visit the Shangri La Nudist Resort 30 miles north of Phoenix (same place where they had their 300th ... it was great). Shangri La would be good for April/May 99.

We missed you and Koresh and Energizer Bunny and She Mussel Bitch and our European contingent ... Higgins ... at the Tao Iguana. But we only missed ya'll for a few minutes, as it was a hellacious, bodacious, Iguanacious time.

ON Fucking ON!

SmegmaBalls <[email protected]>
Iguana GM/Acting Iguana RA